Thursday, September 11, 2008
I fall back once again. Hearing the past from aunt and grandma on how grandpa could actually loves and dotes on me so much when i was in his care once i came to this world. It pains me pain me so much to hear this now when the young me still know nothing and what's more knowing he's no longer by my side anymore.
I cried in your room when grandma and you left the doorstep, knowing both were going for holiday to jakarta the first time.
I rushed over to your room in between you and grandma's side when i cant sleep at night.
You accompanied me to brush teeth when grandma asked me to go alone cuz i'm afraid of the night.
You spared me desperately from the cans and scoldings from mum despite i still misbehaviour.
I declined to go genting when i was a kid cuz i wana stayed by you and grandma's side.
I forbid to move house when mum and dad planned for a new flat, cuz i dont wana be apart from both.
I called every night to bid both a good night when we shifted just to feel both presence.
You stood in front of me when i was being bullied.
To me, it's really never-ending. Or rather, endless.
I miss everything from you and everything from me to you.
11:19 PM